"what's holding you back, dear?"
"knowing i'm not a part of someones life anymore"
"knowing i'm not a part of someones life anymore"
well, i'm pathetic.
its been sooo long, and i still get waves of nostalgia and unwanted feelings like this on a 2weekly basis. it doesn't last very long, but today seems different. i need answers.
i deserve to be happy, right? that's all i want. i have spurs of happiness sometimes, and its nice. but not today. seeing my former lovers new life, the part we've dreamt of living together..and i'm not in it. no where in it. and it hurts. a lot. maybe i can't be happy cus i know i'm never gonna be a part of his life anymore, and the ironic thing is that i was the one that didn't want to get back together with him. it was all me. and why am i sitting here typing this up all depressed? i don't know. i'm pathetic.
seeing him live his new life..doing the things he's always talked about doing..all i wanted was to see him progress. he was ambitious and i loved that. maybe this new life was the result of our breaking up. yeah, maybe thats it. my life? i did everything i said i would never do. drinking, partying. to him, the new me, is the real/old me. but he's wrong. i just don't have anything better to do.
i'm sad.
its been sooo long, and i still get waves of nostalgia and unwanted feelings like this on a 2weekly basis. it doesn't last very long, but today seems different. i need answers.
i deserve to be happy, right? that's all i want. i have spurs of happiness sometimes, and its nice. but not today. seeing my former lovers new life, the part we've dreamt of living together..and i'm not in it. no where in it. and it hurts. a lot. maybe i can't be happy cus i know i'm never gonna be a part of his life anymore, and the ironic thing is that i was the one that didn't want to get back together with him. it was all me. and why am i sitting here typing this up all depressed? i don't know. i'm pathetic.
seeing him live his new life..doing the things he's always talked about doing..all i wanted was to see him progress. he was ambitious and i loved that. maybe this new life was the result of our breaking up. yeah, maybe thats it. my life? i did everything i said i would never do. drinking, partying. to him, the new me, is the real/old me. but he's wrong. i just don't have anything better to do.
i'm sad.
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